Football is a game of two halves, or more accurately, a game of cliches. So we might reflect, following England’s 1-0 over Andorra, that there are no easy games in international football. Or that you can only beat the team in front of you. Or that the three points are all that matters. Or that the history books will simply say that England won.
Whilst these statements are true, sort of, to varying degrees, there is no getting away from the fact that this was a dreadful performance by England. It may well be the worst win in their long history, if there can be such a thing as a bad win. Whilst the Three Lions started relatively brightly they quickly regressed and all in all very few players came out of the night with any credit. Except for those that didn’t feature.
Harry Kane got the only goal of the dour affair and it was very much a strike fit to win this game. It was a scrappy finish but coming as late as the 50th minute still saw England supporters breathe a huge sigh of relief. Having got that first goal many would have expected the Three Lions to relax a little bit and take advantage of the extra space created now the home team no longer had anything to cling onto.
If anything, it was the minnows who ended the clash more strongly and whilst they didn’t manage a shot on target during the whole game and just wayward attempts in total, there was certainly the odd anxious moment or two for Thomas Tuchel. His side was lethargic, laboured, and sloppy and all in all, it was a woeful performance from a team that hopes to win the World Cup next year. On this evidence, that hope is rather misplaced.
A day later Portugal and Spain met in the Nations League final and produced a high-class display of football that seemed so far ahead of England. Tuchel was brought in with one clear and specific target on a short-term contract but based on this latest display they are further away from lifting a major trophy than ever.
What They Said
💬 “We’re not going to panic, but for sure we know that we need to be better.”
Hear from our skipper 👇
— England (@England) June 11, 2025
Ignoring the various derogatory and ironic chants from the stands, not to mention the booing at both half time and full time, let’s take a look at what some of the key actors had to say, starting with the manager. Tuchel made his feelings quite clear, stating that his side “lacked the seriousness and the urgency that is needed in a World Cup qualifier”. In particular, he highlighted the final 20 minutes when he “did not like the attitude that we ended the game with”. He added that he “didn’t like the body language” and that they “can just admit that, it’s not what we expect from us. We need to look at it in detail and do better on Tuesday.”
His captain, Kane, who notched his 72nd goal for England, moving him further clear at the top of the all-time list, said that “it wasn’t good enough” and that they had “got away with it” because Andorra “had a couple of half-chances where we didn’t get punished.” England’s skipper also stated that the match would not be “one many people are going to remember, that’s for sure”.
That is certainly saying something, and it is two hours of our life we won’t be getting back! Of course, such clashes are rarely entertaining, and play out as attack versus defence, with the weaker nation – and Andorra boast mainly semi-professional players and are ranked 173rd in the world – sitting back and hoping to defend for the whole game. But this was truly worse than usual, and Tuchel will demand a reaction when his troops next take to the pitch against Senegal in a friendly.
Any Positives at All?
If we are being brutal, there is perhaps just one positive and that is the performance of Chelsea’s Noni Madueke. Playing on the left of a front four, that saw Cole Palmer and Jude Bellingham deployed as dual number 10s, Madueke was probably the only England player who enhanced his reputation.
He provided the assist for Kane’s goal and looked sharp, energetic and dangerous. Even this one possible shining light has to be viewed in the context of the fact that, well, it was Andorra. Nonetheless, he created four chances, the most in the match, and was lively throughout, playing the full 90 minutes.
Bukayo Saka is a clear first-choice on the right and there is lots of competition in the more central areas, whilst Kane is of course a shoe-in as the number nine. Therefore that position wide on the left is the one attacking spot that is very much up for grabs, and Madueke has certainly increased his odds of making the squad.
It could also be argued that the fact England won was a positive but that would be like saying it is a positive if you wake up in the morning. It is, but it is sort of taken for granted. Likewise, after three games England have a 100% record, are five points clear at the top (though Serbia have played just once and Latvia only twice) and are yet to concede a goal.
Tuchel becomes the first England manager to win his first three games in charge without seeing his side concede. Additionally, the result means another clean sheet for Jordan Pickford, which takes him to 38 shutouts from 76 games. But when you don’t face a shot on target, that can hardly count as a positive really and likewise, while England top their group and going along nicely, this latest win was entirely expected.
England’s Worst Performance?
It may well be the worst England have played and won but they have no doubt performed far worse many times in the past. They still had 83% of the ball and outperformed their opponents by 3.7 goals in terms of xG. They had 10 shots on target (20 in total) compared to zero for the home team and had they taken just one or two more of their chances we would no doubt not be having this debate.
It was bad, but not that bad. Tuchel named a fairly experimental team, with Reece James deployed at left-back and Jordan Henderson as a sole anchor in midfield. It is also a game that comes at the end of a long season, in front of fewer than 9,000 fans, so the lack of motivation and energy is not wholly surprising. Surely things can only get better from here.
